| "Definition: | thwart, disappoint |
| Synonyms: | annul, arrest, baffle, balk, bar, beat, block, cancel, check, circumvent, confront, conquer, counter, counteract, cramp, cramp one's style, crimp, dash, dash one's hope, defeat, depress, discourage, dishearten, foil, forbid, forestall, foul up, give the run around, halt, hang up, hinder, hold up, impede, inhibit, lick, negate, neutralize, nullify, obstruct, obviate, outwit, overcome, preclude, prevent, prohibit, render null and void, ruin, stump, stymie*, upset the applecart |
I've finally finished my exams - WOOOOO! And I'm working and trying to pay off my debts. It just doesn't seem to be moving at all though. I still feel like after my separation I haven't gotten anywhere with my ongoing and painfully long divorce, paying off my debts and trying to save for my kids.
They still keep asking me when will we have a house again. . .I can't even answer them anymore. They told me today "Mommy, you told us the secret of you getting married and now you're not?" Can't answer them about that either and can only apologize to them for making all the mistakes I have made.
I would badly like to have my own home and have someone in my life. I have never aspired to have anything grandiose. I have always simply wanted the same thing.
My dream was to have a quiet home that I could make my own, a loving partner who would always be there for me and supportive, and a few kids <---- notice I said few because I kinda always thought I'd have more than just my girls but it's doesn't seem likely. That dream seems to be totally crushed as the time is going by.
I simply cannot answer them anymore. I think I'm just destined to be alone and most likely living with my parents and I'll just have to accept that.
Maybe when my girls are bigger and I don't need so much help we can move somewhere more affordable and I can work to take care of them and they can look after themselves. . .but that may be quite some time from now :S
. . . .at least it's a new dream :)
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