Good Vibrations :)

Opposite George told me the best revenge is living well. So true. She told me about how her ex emailed her again! Shucks, it's only been 4 years since they broke up and he cheated and got another girl pregnant (a white girl no less!(although I never say anything about that part XD))

I mean I have my ups and downs. The hardest of course is dealing with the twins and just not really knowing how to explain d-bag not calling them or seeing them. The fact that he still commits all kinds of f*ckery is beyond me. I just don't get what kind of battle he's fighting. Is he keeping score or something??

D-Bag: 5 Me: 7 Our Kids: -1,000,000

It still pisses me off. I am willing to leave all my family and friends and literally start my life over in order to provide and he's just. . .I dunno. . .I can't explain it.

The thing is. . .I know there are good men out there. I talk to and interact with them on a daily basis (German Steel, D&H). I just feel insanely ashamed that I picked one of the absolute worse among them. It's downright embarrassing.

At least, day by day. . .I get a little of what I lost back. I build my confidence and my life which I felt I had lost for so many years. And it's true. . .to be a good parent; you do need to be happy and take care of yourself.

I am worried about how Thing 1 and Thing 2 will turn out. They are very sensitive children. I hope and pray (shoot, I attend mass twice a week!) that everything will be okay. Not even great or anything. . .just at the very least. . .okay :)

There's a beat I was missing. . .

Now a symphony's the only song to sing. . .

KELIS - Acapella lyrics

Send "Acapella" Ringtone to your Cell

I was walking, was living

My melody was acapella
There’s a beat I was missing
No tune, or a scale, I could play
-
The sound in the distance
No orchestra playing together
Like a boat out to sea,
The silence was too deafening
-
So come and revive me
I can’t feel my heartbeat
Just me surviving alone
-
(Chorus)
Before you,
My whole life was acapella
Now a symphony’s
The only song to sing
Before you,
My whole life was acapella
Now a symphony’s
The only song to sing
-
Everything was the same
One color was just like the others
An assembly routine
My memories were all black and white
Till I stopped overthinking
Decided to draw back the curtains
And I cleared all the cobwebs
And began to let in the light
-
So come and revive me
I can’t feel my heartbeat
Just me surviving alone
-
(Chorus)
Before you,
My whole life was acapella
Now a symphony’s
The only song to sing
Before you,
My whole life was acapella
Now a symphony’s
The only song to sing
-
(Bridge – 3X)
You are the drum in my heart beat
Bass and guitar lead
Stuck on the notes you play
My heart that you play on
Red like a crayon
I can’t walk away
-
(Chorus – 2X)
Before you,
My whole life was acapella
Now a symphony’s
The only song to sing
Before you,
My whole life was acapella
Now a symphony’s
The only song to sing


OUTSTANDING!!!

Lovely Day

Had a great Easter!! I didn't think much would be happening. Just the family and me at home re-watching the same damn Dora and Wiggles DVDs. I know that their godfather had burned them about 30 movies but I still haven't got the DVD player to actually watch them yet. I hope to do that soon. I don't consider it an excessive splurge because we've got $40 in gift cards for it so it will end up costing us $30 and it's a one-time purchase really. Plus I will finally be able to dowload and watch different things.

But I digress. The in-laws came and as promised brought the awesome swing set! Dr. Evil put most of it together but we have yet to anchor it. We'll probably do that and some much needed gardening when Dr. Evil goes on vacation Friday. They ordered a huge pizza and wings lunch which was very nice. We had more than plenty of leftovers the next day. Also, this time I didn't get sick from eating take-out. I must note that the place I ordered from was a family run pizza business so maybe they were cleaner than A&W's. My aunt called me after the in-laws left and asked what we were doing. I said nothing, because that is in fact what we were doing. She got mad at me for not having an Easter egg hunt but I told her that I'm pretty tight right now and I'm justifying it by saying that chocolate isn't good for them.

I already felt guilty that we can't do any fun things. All the time at the school the parents and grandparents talk about the kids going to Mexico or Florida and yadda, yadda, yadda. I, of course am just quiet because the last fun thing I did with the girls was going to Ontario Place and the Zoo but I don't really know if I'll get to do that again this year. Chances are looking that it's probably not going to happen.

Well, my aunts decided to drop by unexpected and unannounced on Saturday. My dad had apparently given them directions. They brought a whole ton of stuff; and I really mean a whole ton of stuff! I won't have to do groceries this week with the amount of groceries they brought. Plus all the Easter stuff.

I was really surprised that they came; I just assumed no one would visit me since I lived too far (by their standards) now. We enjoyed putting the Thing 1 and Thing 2 on the swings and most of all having them do an Easter egg hunt in the backyard. They were so happy - their faces just lit up when we said chocolate. Some days I really feel like the most horrible parent in the world for not being able to give my kids everything I wish I could give them. Other days I feel great that I have such a huge extension of family and friends. It was definitely one of the latter days for me.

Damn this Smarch weather!!

What's with this weather. I took Thing 1 and 2 to school and was pretty sure that I would have to turn back. They were bundled up but upset about the rain/slush/snow crap hitting their faces. When I finally did get to school, all of our legs were soaked between our knees and thighs. Then I found out that the teacher was leaving early so when I was finally dry; had to head back out in that weather again!

As usual, I felt like the worse caregiver of the bunch. Only my kids were eating more than their fair share of snacks and crying and yelling. I sincerely hope they outgrow this before they start actual school.

I took my parents to the school on Thursday. As usual, it's always awkward when their around. I think they just don't know how to relate to anyone in that environment. It reminded me of when I was a kid and how reluctant they were to go to those parent/teacher meetings. For good reason obviously, I was a less than stellar pupil and child. Alas, my parents believed the do as little as possible mentality and somehow I would turn out okay. I realize that they stick to this theory even now.

This is probably why, despite the kids' tantrums I still want to go with them to school and involve myself in what they do. Get to know the teachers and staff. Have myself prepared so ultimately I can have the girls prepared for what they need to do to succeed. Perhaps if my parents had done the same. . .I would have succeeded more in life too.

Well, they have their failings but they have their strengths too. Hope as more time goes pass they lose their weirdness but I don't know if that will ever happen. One thing I've noticed is that Dr. Evil was being incredibly rude to them which of pissed me off to no ends. So my parents did teach me about manners I can definitely say that I've never acted that way to his parents as he does to my family. Live and learn. . .live and learn.

Vegetables are my friends. . .

Alright, I apologize for my earlier filler post. I was bored and feeling pretty ill so had nothing better to do than fill quizzes on Dr. Evil's laptop while I nursed the godawful stomach pangs I was having.

Still on this documentary watching blitz. I saw Food Matters and Simply Raw: Reversing diabetes in 30 days. So this ties in with the godawful stomach pangs. I was feeling down and pretty low so I told Dr. Evil to buy some burgers for cheap. I haven't had take-out food in some time now. You know. . . 'cause I'm poor :P

Well, unfortunately as much I had liked eating out all these years, it most definitely does not agree with me anymore. I wasn't even food poisoning. . .I just felt extremely physically ill after I ate the very delicious but super-processed food.

Now I'm a logical thinking person but I don't eat healthy. I haven't eaten super-healthy since I was a teenager. When I was a teen, I was surrounded by friends who were super weight and exercise conscious. Not that I was particularly that way, but when all your friends are doing it. . .well, so are you. Probably the last time I was in such good shape. Well then, I lost my mind. . .drank a lot and ate out quite a bit. Gained waaaay too much weight. Although now I've cut back on a lot of things, I still don't exercise. So although I probably won't gain anymore weight. . .I'm not losing it either because of my lack of exercise. Hopefully this summer I will do more regarding the exercise. Also, since watching those docs I think I will start having quite a number of meatless nights; my wallet will probably thank me.

I'd never go full vegetarian, meat is just too delicious to me to give up. Not sure how I'll convince Dr. Evil to join my bandwagon. He's a self-proclaimed Meaty Meatatarian. But then again, I'm the one who cooks all the meals.

In other news, Thing 1 and Thing 2 are back from their weekend. Looks like they had a lot of fun. First time going to a movie theatre and godparents said that they enjoyed it. Only two accidents. Thing 1 got sick in the car and messed herself at their place but otherwise godparents enjoyed having them and even asked us to let us know when the could take care of them again. I may very well take them up on their offer.

And for no reason a music video. . .before Youtube decides to yank them all off.

Worst. Week. EVER!

So I have the twinsies starting pre-school this week. I, along with many other parents and the teacher attend. All in all, it's an excellent program. Encouraging kids to interact and learn while getting accustomed to their future school environment. Also, parents get a chance to socialize and meet each other as their children will be attending the same school. Yes, it's free and that would make it quite excellent I would say.

Now the "other" part. My twins. I think in my mind I thought they were better behaved than they really are. Perhaps as a parent I was making excuses for them. Thinking that they might outgrow some behaviours or that some actions were only because of their age. Alas, when you receive nothing but dirty looks from other parents you might realize that maybe their not as good as you thought.

Let's see, they grabbed toys from other children. Cried going to the Gym and then cried leaving the Gym. They threw screaming fits several times. They screamed and cried leaving the pre-school and in the hallway. . .let me just say that schools have a strong echoing effect. They wouldn't let other kids have a turn at whatever they were doing. They weren't quiet and listening during storytime. . .rather they decided to tell their own stories. So yeah, it's been kinda hell week for me and it's not even over yet.

Although I try to enforce as many rules at home as I can. . .they don't translate well to a giant classroom full of kids. Well, I have this year and next year left. Hope I can get them in better shape before actually school. o_O

No Nose Nuggets!

Yes, that is what I told them today at school. They did not listen as I hoped they would and I sincerely hope that they will not be the "gross" kids at school.

Three years ago today I got up quite early and in quite a lot of pain later, had two beautiful baby girls. Boy, reflecting on that . . .I really didn't know what I was in for! It's certainly been a learning curve for me and them. One thing is certain though, my life would be radically different without them.

Today, they did me proud at their first day of school. They minded their manners to the best of their abilities. For the most part they attempted to share. They didn't wail as much as I thought they would when we had to leave, but they still wailed.

I made all their favourite treats for them, and they're watching an inordinate amount of cartoons today. Three down, a lifetime to go!

Happy Birthday to my beloved Girls!! xoxo