Monday, February 28, 2011

Good Vibrations :)

Opposite George told me the best revenge is living well. So true. She told me about how her ex emailed her again! Shucks, it's only been 4 years since they broke up and he cheated and got another girl pregnant (a white girl no less!(although I never say anything about that part XD))

I mean I have my ups and downs. The hardest of course is dealing with the twins and just not really knowing how to explain d-bag not calling them or seeing them. The fact that he still commits all kinds of f*ckery is beyond me. I just don't get what kind of battle he's fighting. Is he keeping score or something??

D-Bag: 5 Me: 7 Our Kids: -1,000,000

It still pisses me off. I am willing to leave all my family and friends and literally start my life over in order to provide and he's just. . .I dunno. . .I can't explain it.

The thing is. . .I know there are good men out there. I talk to and interact with them on a daily basis (German Steel, D&H). I just feel insanely ashamed that I picked one of the absolute worse among them. It's downright embarrassing.

At least, day by day. . .I get a little of what I lost back. I build my confidence and my life which I felt I had lost for so many years. And it's true. . .to be a good parent; you do need to be happy and take care of yourself.

I am worried about how Thing 1 and Thing 2 will turn out. They are very sensitive children. I hope and pray (shoot, I attend mass twice a week!) that everything will be okay. Not even great or anything. . .just at the very least. . .okay :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

*Hangs head in shame*

Shucks, even after everything I've been through with him. . .you would *think* things would be an open and shut case. Even in his darkest hour. . .I just love him. Good thing I've never told him.

 Yup, hardcore d*ckmatized o_O

On another note saw the ex for lunch. . .it was weird - HA!