Generation Next

I woke up and finally realized that I'll probably never be happy. Too many wrong choices made in my life and too late to change them now.

So I'll probably do now what many generations before me have figured out before I get put out to pasture. Be happy in my mundane-esque life and hope I teach kids not to make the same mistakes I've done. Indeed life can certainly end at 30. I hope and pray that they make all the right decisions so that they can always be happy and enjoy a beautiful and wonderful life.

I'm sure it's what every parent hopes for :)

30 :/

I'm 30 today. . .sh*t!



Well, I'll make the best of it :)


Uh, I'll try to at least D:

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day!! I think I've posted it before but meh. . .great song :) Lots of love to the hard-working real mommies out there :D

Cause I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man

Obviously, everyone knows that songs remind you of things. Sometimes bad and sometimes good. I'm not trying to be introspective. . .just remembering a happier time for myself. . .

When you wake up it's a new morning. . .

Like this drudgery will never end. So much stuff is just. . .gosh, I don't know. Putting the pieces together but then more stuff keeps cropping up. I believe in some cases I deserve since I should know better by now o_O

Forever Man. . .

Yeah, my love life is a horrid thing. . .I know.  I just find these men who are absolutely perfect yet flawed on some level. Dark and Handsome vs. German Steel. I just don't know. Nothing with German Steel of course, since I only deal with Dark and Handsome. . .despite everything, I'm apparently a faithful person.  What should I do?  I find men a little too easy to please nowadays. . .very little required on my end of the deal.  Doesn't matter anyways since I'm perpetually single to begin with :)

Embrace the suck!

Yeah, I'm pretty lonely but that's nothing new. Missing a dude back in t-dot who I won't get to see when I visit anyways *sads*

Well, I should probably get used to being alone. . .seems to be a constant state for me.

Good Vibrations :)

Opposite George told me the best revenge is living well. So true. She told me about how her ex emailed her again! Shucks, it's only been 4 years since they broke up and he cheated and got another girl pregnant (a white girl no less!(although I never say anything about that part XD))

I mean I have my ups and downs. The hardest of course is dealing with the twins and just not really knowing how to explain d-bag not calling them or seeing them. The fact that he still commits all kinds of f*ckery is beyond me. I just don't get what kind of battle he's fighting. Is he keeping score or something??

D-Bag: 5 Me: 7 Our Kids: -1,000,000

It still pisses me off. I am willing to leave all my family and friends and literally start my life over in order to provide and he's just. . .I dunno. . .I can't explain it.

The thing is. . .I know there are good men out there. I talk to and interact with them on a daily basis (German Steel, D&H). I just feel insanely ashamed that I picked one of the absolute worse among them. It's downright embarrassing.

At least, day by day. . .I get a little of what I lost back. I build my confidence and my life which I felt I had lost for so many years. And it's true. . .to be a good parent; you do need to be happy and take care of yourself.

I am worried about how Thing 1 and Thing 2 will turn out. They are very sensitive children. I hope and pray (shoot, I attend mass twice a week!) that everything will be okay. Not even great or anything. . .just at the very least. . .okay :)

*Hangs head in shame*

Shucks, even after everything I've been through with him. . .you would *think* things would be an open and shut case. Even in his darkest hour. . .I just love him. Good thing I've never told him.

 Yup, hardcore d*ckmatized o_O


On another note saw the ex for lunch. . .it was weird - HA!

What you won't do for love. . .

So, Opposite George is a little vex with me. Get it together - too much is depending on you now. I know. . .believe me. . .I know!

What do you think of me going back to school? What do you think of me getting a better job? It's not much of a plan. . .but does it sound better than the course I've been heading on. Dead-end job and dealing with a deadbeat ex-husband???!!!

I hope it is. . .and I really need to get a certain someone out of my system :/ Too dickmatized :P




Ah, what I won't do for love. . .dickmatized ain't good either ;) Tall, dark and handsome men offering to be my white knight is not a good combination today with my bailey's caramel - HA!

A little belated. . .but Happy New Year!

Hello All,

Here's hoping that this year is not as shiteous as last year. Noticed I complained and griped a lot but I'm still going thru this divorce :S Hope this year things get better and that I have more to look forward too and be happy about. Always trying to look up!!!

I remember back in the day I went out and bought the CD after seeing this vid a billion times on MuchMusic. I was a virgin then. . .now I'm not :P

But now I know that there's nothing like a Muscular Black Man ;)





Whew!