When you wake up it's a new morning. . .

Like this drudgery will never end. So much stuff is just. . .gosh, I don't know. Putting the pieces together but then more stuff keeps cropping up. I believe in some cases I deserve since I should know better by now o_O

Forever Man. . .

Yeah, my love life is a horrid thing. . .I know.  I just find these men who are absolutely perfect yet flawed on some level. Dark and Handsome vs. German Steel. I just don't know. Nothing with German Steel of course, since I only deal with Dark and Handsome. . .despite everything, I'm apparently a faithful person.  What should I do?  I find men a little too easy to please nowadays. . .very little required on my end of the deal.  Doesn't matter anyways since I'm perpetually single to begin with :)

Embrace the suck!

Yeah, I'm pretty lonely but that's nothing new. Missing a dude back in t-dot who I won't get to see when I visit anyways *sads*

Well, I should probably get used to being alone. . .seems to be a constant state for me.

Good Vibrations :)

Opposite George told me the best revenge is living well. So true. She told me about how her ex emailed her again! Shucks, it's only been 4 years since they broke up and he cheated and got another girl pregnant (a white girl no less!(although I never say anything about that part XD))

I mean I have my ups and downs. The hardest of course is dealing with the twins and just not really knowing how to explain d-bag not calling them or seeing them. The fact that he still commits all kinds of f*ckery is beyond me. I just don't get what kind of battle he's fighting. Is he keeping score or something??

D-Bag: 5 Me: 7 Our Kids: -1,000,000

It still pisses me off. I am willing to leave all my family and friends and literally start my life over in order to provide and he's just. . .I dunno. . .I can't explain it.

The thing is. . .I know there are good men out there. I talk to and interact with them on a daily basis (German Steel, D&H). I just feel insanely ashamed that I picked one of the absolute worse among them. It's downright embarrassing.

At least, day by day. . .I get a little of what I lost back. I build my confidence and my life which I felt I had lost for so many years. And it's true. . .to be a good parent; you do need to be happy and take care of yourself.

I am worried about how Thing 1 and Thing 2 will turn out. They are very sensitive children. I hope and pray (shoot, I attend mass twice a week!) that everything will be okay. Not even great or anything. . .just at the very least. . .okay :)

*Hangs head in shame*

Shucks, even after everything I've been through with him. . .you would *think* things would be an open and shut case. Even in his darkest hour. . .I just love him. Good thing I've never told him.

 Yup, hardcore d*ckmatized o_O


On another note saw the ex for lunch. . .it was weird - HA!

What you won't do for love. . .

So, Opposite George is a little vex with me. Get it together - too much is depending on you now. I know. . .believe me. . .I know!

What do you think of me going back to school? What do you think of me getting a better job? It's not much of a plan. . .but does it sound better than the course I've been heading on. Dead-end job and dealing with a deadbeat ex-husband???!!!

I hope it is. . .and I really need to get a certain someone out of my system :/ Too dickmatized :P




Ah, what I won't do for love. . .dickmatized ain't good either ;) Tall, dark and handsome men offering to be my white knight is not a good combination today with my bailey's caramel - HA!

A little belated. . .but Happy New Year!

Hello All,

Here's hoping that this year is not as shiteous as last year. Noticed I complained and griped a lot but I'm still going thru this divorce :S Hope this year things get better and that I have more to look forward too and be happy about. Always trying to look up!!!

I remember back in the day I went out and bought the CD after seeing this vid a billion times on MuchMusic. I was a virgin then. . .now I'm not :P

But now I know that there's nothing like a Muscular Black Man ;)





Whew!