30 :/

I'm 30 today. . .sh*t!



Well, I'll make the best of it :)


Uh, I'll try to at least D:

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day!! I think I've posted it before but meh. . .great song :) Lots of love to the hard-working real mommies out there :D

Cause I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man

Obviously, everyone knows that songs remind you of things. Sometimes bad and sometimes good. I'm not trying to be introspective. . .just remembering a happier time for myself. . .

When you wake up it's a new morning. . .

Like this drudgery will never end. So much stuff is just. . .gosh, I don't know. Putting the pieces together but then more stuff keeps cropping up. I believe in some cases I deserve since I should know better by now o_O

Forever Man. . .

Yeah, my love life is a horrid thing. . .I know.  I just find these men who are absolutely perfect yet flawed on some level. Dark and Handsome vs. German Steel. I just don't know. Nothing with German Steel of course, since I only deal with Dark and Handsome. . .despite everything, I'm apparently a faithful person.  What should I do?  I find men a little too easy to please nowadays. . .very little required on my end of the deal.  Doesn't matter anyways since I'm perpetually single to begin with :)

Embrace the suck!

Yeah, I'm pretty lonely but that's nothing new. Missing a dude back in t-dot who I won't get to see when I visit anyways *sads*

Well, I should probably get used to being alone. . .seems to be a constant state for me.

Good Vibrations :)

Opposite George told me the best revenge is living well. So true. She told me about how her ex emailed her again! Shucks, it's only been 4 years since they broke up and he cheated and got another girl pregnant (a white girl no less!(although I never say anything about that part XD))

I mean I have my ups and downs. The hardest of course is dealing with the twins and just not really knowing how to explain d-bag not calling them or seeing them. The fact that he still commits all kinds of f*ckery is beyond me. I just don't get what kind of battle he's fighting. Is he keeping score or something??

D-Bag: 5 Me: 7 Our Kids: -1,000,000

It still pisses me off. I am willing to leave all my family and friends and literally start my life over in order to provide and he's just. . .I dunno. . .I can't explain it.

The thing is. . .I know there are good men out there. I talk to and interact with them on a daily basis (German Steel, D&H). I just feel insanely ashamed that I picked one of the absolute worse among them. It's downright embarrassing.

At least, day by day. . .I get a little of what I lost back. I build my confidence and my life which I felt I had lost for so many years. And it's true. . .to be a good parent; you do need to be happy and take care of yourself.

I am worried about how Thing 1 and Thing 2 will turn out. They are very sensitive children. I hope and pray (shoot, I attend mass twice a week!) that everything will be okay. Not even great or anything. . .just at the very least. . .okay :)