Soon-to-be Divorcee?

Well, the little seems to be on the mend. Very slowly but getting there. And of course, since she can't go out we've been indoors for the last few weeks except for when we went to the bday party. It's not bad. I'm missing out on all the gardening. I have no idea how overgrown everything will be when I finally do get out there and cut that damn grass but I'm hoping it won't be too long.

So in other news, I'm actually going out and spending money. Something I've opted not to do in a long time because of the debt status. Oh, I have gone out here and there but nothing really. Well, if all goes according to plan I'm finally going to have sushi which I have not had now in pretty much a year. Also, gonna go clubbing but this will probably be the only time I do so. Now that I live so far it seems like a huge hassle. Staying with my parents is very annoying.

So I'll be inviting soon-to-be divorcee. Good company most of the time; but much like BJL she doesn't have any friends here and doesn't seem to have it all together in the practical department.

Now BJL has moved on and has a life and hopefully more practicality. But seeing both STBD and BJL are older than me and lack common sense just goes to show me that with age does not mean maturity.

Back to STBD. She is married to Dr. Evil's high school chum. I do not think much of the fellow. He just seems to lack all rationality. I cannot understand how folks get through life being so naive but hey, somehow they do. He married STBD and I met them for the first time when they came down to my old condo for a visit. STBD got pregnant around the same time as I did and has a son one month younger than the Things.

Now STBD and I bonded over the lack of common sense that Dr. Evil and High school chum had but whereas Dr. Evil knows when to back off. . .High school chum does not.

I began to hear of their relentless problems regarding their home, maintenance, money, child, etc. Basically, the norm stuff that affects most young families.

Well, still thought that maybe if they tried they could work things through. I was sure anyone can as long as you were willing too.

So I came down to visit them last summer. I went to their house which is (I guess) in the bad part of Hamilton. It was actually a very nice street. It reminded me of Parkdale with the old homes. From the outside their home was beautiful. A Victorian with stained glass windows and gingerbread (I'm a bit of a home buff). Then I went inside.

Can I tell you that the place was an utter PIGSTY!!!

Now when I say pigsty I really mean it was the worst home that I've ever walked into. Now I've lived in group homes and seen folks on welfare who had cleaner homes than their place. I've even let things slide but never on that scale. It looked like one of the homes I used to see on how clean is your house?

Let me describe it. There was mess and clutter everywhere. I had no place to walk. There was one of those huge stand-up recycling bins in the middle of the living room and it was full of garbage and there was garbage, crumbs and food everywhere. There was no place to sit. There were wires hanging out of the wall and everything was dirty. Mind you these people had a two-year old at the time. Open sockets and clothes piled everywhere. Their two giant pit bulls kept trying to jump on me. Their small child was just running around in this mess.

For my part I stayed polite and toured the rest of the home. Now the house itself was beautiful. Gorgeous styled oak staircase and if the windows were cleaned, the stained glass would have looked stunning but these two were not maintaining the property at all and it definitely showed.

I believe Dr. Evil thought that I had exaggerated about the house until he saw it for himself. He was appalled thinking they let their son run around with so many dangers.

Well, I thought. . .no wonder their life is a mess! If the chaos of their house was any indication than they really needed help.

I had asked STBD why they didn't clean the place up and this is why I really find her irritating. She said that she worked and didn't have the time to do it. Now I have plenty of friends who work and their homes do not look like that. So she chalked it up to her having a child. Another excuse. Then she said that her husband didn't clean so she didn't and he gave the same excuse. Um. . .are these people grown-ups? You don't want to clean because he doesn't and vice versa? You have a two-year old and that's okay with both of you to have him running around in this mess?

Oh and by the way. . .they wanted another child. My thought was; were they planning on making a crib out of the mounds of garbage in their bedrooms for the tot? Yeah, that will save your marriage.

Well, sadly. . .and it is sad to happen to anyone. STBD had a miscarriage and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She kicked him out and found a divorce lawyer. He ran up the bills and then declared bankruptcy. These are adults. . .let me remind you again.

So that was in September and that is when they declared legal separation. They were fighting like cats and dogs and both me and Dr. Evil had to remind them that they had a son who knew what was going on and whether they liked it or not that was their son for life and they had to find a way to get along. Not until he was 18 but forever. This seemed to have stopped their incessant blaming and they moved on and found some way to compromise.

Now I guess being apart made them forget the past and they still love each other and STBD has told me many times that she would take him back. I suggested that perhaps it's better for them to live away from each other. Not every marriage is conventional and if that's what they had to do then consider their options.

So another thing that irritated me about STBD is the fact that she's constantly over. I damn well know why. My house is clean. Her place is not. Her son can run around without being in danger of electrocuting himself plus he has playmates. He's not in daycare so he doesn't socialize with any children. Unfortunately, his bad behaviour is beginning to show. The worst is that Thing One and Thing Two attempt to copy him which I hate.

Well, if you only have two days off instead of coming here and staying until 1 in the morning why don't you go home and start packing and sorting stuff. Then perhaps you can invite me over instead of just coming to my place all the time. After all, in the three years I've known her I've only went in the house once (unfortunately saw it) and have never been asked back again. And it would be nice if you didn't constantly invite yourself to my place because I like to do things like sleep and walk around in my underwear.

This weekend again she called to come over but I said the kids and I weren't feeling good so apparently trying to guilt trip(?) me she said that she promised her son that they would come over and he had been crying all day. Uh-huh, well I guess you shouldn't have promised him that without asking me first. So I said "aww, that's too bad. . well I gotta go get some cleaning done, talk to soon." I happily continued to spend the day in my underwear reading Twilight.

So the last thing (yes, I know it's a long post) is that she finally told Dr. Evil's high school chum that she wanted to get back together with him and he said no. She was very offended, angry and taken aback by this. So I talked to Dr. Evil and he said "she didn't tell you what she said?"

"Umm no, what happened?"

Dr. Evil told me that they were discussing it and his buddy was fine to get back together but he asked that she never kick him out again and that they would have to talk and work things out. Sounds reasonable to me.

She told him that that was fine and that she would take him back only if they started to try for another baby right away. Hmm, you're in mounds of debt. His job is unstable. You're home is still falling apart and you are on the path to divorce but want to try for a baby right away without at least working through one of those things???
Sorry, but I believe Dr. Evil's friend was very right when he said no. The smartest thing I've seen this guy do.

Will wonders never cease. . . .