Mrs. Ex

Out of the blue yesterday I got a call from B.J.L. She said she was in town for the weekend and would love to see me. So I dropped off the kids and went with Dr. Evil to visit her. It was my first time out since the BBQ incident. I dropped $50 on this venture which I of course don't have but I reasoned that I since I hadn't seen her in two years it was okay and I'd find some way to cover the expense. Also, since I missed her going away party. . .this time I would say bye.

Now this isn't something I normally do but I felt pretty guilty. B.J.L. has always made an effort to keep in contact with me. At other times, when I was broke, she would take me to the spa or treat me to dinner. When things weren't going that well, she was there to listen to my rants.

I felt guilty because I chose to drift apart from her. I think it was a mutual thing since her own life was becoming very far removed from mine also. Still, despite this. . .she calls and tells me everything that is happy,sad, and inbetween in her life.

Now, I may not agree with all of B.J.L.'s choices in life but here I was judging her when I shouldn't have been. After all, she never judged me when I sat complaining all those times. When I saw her, she looked great. Very similar to how she looked when I met her. . .like she hadn't aged a day. She acted differently too, more independent. She said she thought she had to go through all she did so that she could become a better person. Well, whatever you want to say to explain yourself is fine.

Recently, her former half started e-mailing me. I was happy to see that. I hadn't really spoken to him in a long time. He never contacts me when he's in town like B.J.L. does which saddens me but I guess that's all a symptom of the drifting apart thing. He may be mad that I still talk to B.J.L. but hey . . .who am I gonna make the effort to keep in touch with? The person who still calls and wants to see me? or the person who hasn't?

Honestly, I would like to stay in contact with both. I would like to see both, too. Maybe there's too much anger there for that to happen but I still hope that it can happen. Especially now that I see each of them have moved on finally and are happy in their respective lives.

My weekend lesson is not to take my friends for granted. I'm going through tough times now and I hope they all know that I appreciate them being there for me when I rant and rave without judging me. Also, who am I to judge anybody. . .just need to take a step back and look at myself now and then.